Smug marrieds

Something interesting popped up on my Facebook feed this morning. An acquaintance blogged about long-distance marriages and that obviously piqued my interest given the topic. What surprised me was her reference to an acquaintance who apparently let her husband move to the US alone for the sake of keeping her job. Curious, that sounds wholly familiar.

Of course it’s incredibly easy to judge other marriages and relationships especially one of an acquaintance, nary a friend. Does this person know of the considerations that go behind such a decision?  I think not, and even more so, I don’t think there is a need to justify such choices to anyone who isn’t family or close friends. 

We certainly didn’t take the easy way out this time and under any other circumstances, I would drop everything in an instant to be with Nick.  If he were going to be away for more than six months; if I hadn’t just started a new job just months prior, the decision to go with him would be a no-brainer. If I may also venture there, it was never about the money - it has always been about the stability of having a job. 

The long and short of the matter; and a timely reminder to me and other smug marrieds is - do not judge lest ye be judged. 

Vows

Attended a friend’s wedding dinner over the weekend and it has sparked off an obsession with weddings - mine in particular. Not sure if all brides go through this phase trying to recall every single detail of the day but alas without video footage to watch (don’t even get me started on why), the best I could do is to flip through photos and read all our speeches again. 

Anyway, this paragraph stolen from Nick’s speech reminds me time and time again why he’s a keeper.

To my wife, Denise. You are my little beacon of happiness at the end of a tough day; you are my spelling, grammar and pronunciation check. You remember words; I remember numbers. When I get angry, you get angry too – at me unfortunately. Though we are both stubborn, we always find a way – normally yours. At the end of the day, we amuse each other – with the silly things I say or do, or your uncoordinated dance moves – and all trespasses are forgotten. It is for all these little quirks that I love you and honor you; and that I promise to do in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, all the days of my life.

Bali-mooning

Bali was amazing. For all our travelling around the region, I’ve never made a trip to Bali with Nick before this one. I loved the food and our villas while Nick was just incredibly happy to get to dive again. 

If there’s one thing this trip taught us, it was not to leave the planning to me. For the second half of the trip, all I planned was what we would eat. Too much food, too few meal times! Nick being the ever-active person that he is got antsy at the thought of doing nothing in between meals while I was happy to while away our time chilling at the villa, letting the food digest. 

Our holidays tend to revolve around the beach and doing nothing, will be interesting to see what comes of our next holiday where we hit up the big apple amongst others. Alas we’ve definitely been bitten by the travel bug.

+01

For the first time ever, Nick has been sent along his merry way to the US for his training. It’s a great thing for his career and something I know he’s excited about but that has now plunged us back into long-distance territory for the next six months. 

Before he left for France some five years ago, I told him not to worry because the next time he leaves for a foreign land for work, I’ll be there with him. I’m not sure what made me so sure our then-three month relationship would withstand the test of a few thousand kms and a couple of oceans; but it did.

Unfortunately, my confidence at being overseas with him was misplaced and here I am back in the +65 due to circumstances and for the overall good of our future - that is I have a good paying job that I’d like to keep. 

This all just goes to show that making the right choices in life don’t come easy - we all have to go through some shit to get to the good stuff.